Thursday, June 23, 2011
The Humble Musings Of The Manhattan Monk 6/23/11
There is a tremendous pain within my heart at the presence of my blindness towards my real integrity. This integrity, full with substance, is not cheap; it is not to be abused. This pain reveals a great desire for freedom from this abuse, a yearning to grasp my real integrity. This pain is the key to the door of my heart. I must get over my fears and comforts and walk right through.
I get the real strong feeling that I am standing outside of the place I need to be. That place is full of the pain I need to embrace and transcend; my mother's pain, my esoteric pain at being torn asunder by the misuse of my free will, sending me plummeting away from Your love, embrace, and smile.
I hesitate constantly to enter into this space, taking baby steps, waiting for the push, praying that I don't drown when I enter that cold water.
Fear and pain are what I need to see most clearly, for when I hide by my rotten instinct, I lose access to their cathartic gifts. Just dive in, but keep the anchor set to the love of your friends and brothers, who will pull you up when you need to breathe.
Not a lofty beginning, so tentative
Apple juice, a little wine, hiding behind my mom
During a summer storm
Still the scared little boy despite all the books I've read
It's worse to be lost when you don't even know you're lost
Not too heavy, take the light of your brothers' hearts
Give what you can to heal them and take what they give you.
The momentum of their grace and your gratitude
Will get you on the path before you even know it.